WELCOME TO HOLLANDby
Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
~
Today my beautiful, sweet Jacob was diagnosed with Autism.
As much as right this minute I'd like to wish today never happened, I don't want to forget the impact of this day when I look back after years have passed.
Mommy, Daddy and Zachary love you Jacob and are so very proud of you.
10 comments:
This post took my breathe away. Your family is in my prayers as you adjust to this change. Both of your boys are so adorable! Stay strong mommy & daddy, you have a beautiful family.
That sweet boy. I can see it in his eyes...he's going to excel in his life! And so are you, girlfriend!
jenny, thats is a sweet sweet story. You are such a loving mother. Thank goodness you have each other. :)
I've read that before too Jenny and I think that you are the perfect parents for Z&J. They are blessed to have you guys. I will be keeping you all in my prayers and I agree with Ashely. I think he will totally excel in life!
Oh Jenny, what a beautiful post from a wonderful mother of two amazing little boys.
Oh, Jenny, I love this story and am so glad you were able to find it and enjoy it. I cannot even imagine what you are going through right now. But I will tell you that in my experience with working with preschoolers with disabilities, there are many amazing things that can be done to help you and to help Jake. I think having a support system like you and DH and the rest of your family along with a wonderful role model in his brother Zachary will be the best thing for him. Stay strong and BRAVE and hopefully this trip to Holland won't be as scary as you'd think. ;) {hugs}
Jenn, you inspire me to be a better mom. You and Brian can weather this together. Hugs to you all.
I've been thinking about you a lot these last few days. Jacob is going to go forward and cross this hurdle - he'll do so with the most amazing parents and a loving brother who shares a bond that most of us don't get to have.
You are brave, you are strong, you are passionate and you are courageous, you are willful, you are sensitive, you are intelligent and you are resourceful - you are a mother, you are Jake and Zacks mom and you will conquer this head on and you'll win.
with admiration and fierce respect for you and Brian,
Josie
I look at your blog sometimes because your boys are so cute and your blog is so nicely written. I just read about Jacob. Things may be a little more difficult for you now, but you are a wonderful Mother. He's a lucky little boy to have you.
Perfect Post! I know many families affected by autism, I will share this with them if they haven't seen it already.
Your boys are perfect and I know that there will be ups and downs, as there are in every parents journey. Praying for you along the way.
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